Get off my lawn!

I'm a crotchedy old badger, now. I just called the cops on some kids who were smoking pot in my neighbors' yard. My neighbor is in the hospital, and I've seen them back there three days in a row, now. I chased them off the other day, and one of them had a wad of money in his hand. Teenagers.

I remember when I used to smoke pot. I hid under the overpass or in the forest. I wasn't out in the daylight where people could smell and see me! Jesus. Kids are stupid these days. Besides, you have to learn to talk to cops, just in case you are ever in real trouble. He let them all go, but man did they jump when he walked in the yard! I heard one guy spook.

This is what we do in small towns on a Friday night.