Alignment

"The Law of Sobriety says that your values must be in line with your true essence if you want to resonate the positive energy it will take to attract everything in life that you desire. That means you stop doing things that make you feel guilty--because if you are feeling guilty, you're not acting in accordance with your values. In sobriety, you have the freedom to live by your values. Your addiction doesn't run your life--you do."

One thing I've been hearing a lot lately is you have to stop lying. You have to stop doing things that create resentments or reasons to make amends. I really have a problem with letting people get close to me. I keep them away by lying or being surly.

I'm a surly person. I'm really nice to everyone, but I can have a temper when someone annoys me. I get irritated and touchy. I do it at work, I do it in friendships. It makes me feel really guilty, though. I hate it when I get mad. I used to cry when I got mad, and that annoyed the hell out of me. I couldn't just get mad and be mad, I would have to cry and my face would get red.

Now, I'm just mean. So does AA mean that I'll start being better about this? If my values are in line with my true essence, then will I stop acting like a child when I'm upset? Will I stop acting like this and making myself feel guilty?

And how do I align myself with my values? What are my values? I don't want to be like this. I want to be a better person, a person people want to hang out around. Someone who doesn't lose their temper and act like a big baby. I suppose it's time to figure out who I really want to be.