Rule 62

"Taking yourself too seriously is mental vanity."

Have you heard that yet, in AA? Rule 62, Don't take yourself so seriously. I think a lot of people in the program have this problem. To spend all your time focusing on digging out the inner you by looking at your faults and then trying to remove them... it always seemed to me like an effort in self. Sure, it's about trying to be a better person in the world, which benefits everyone, but it's a great tool for looking inward and focusing your attention on yourself. And even the Big Book says that alcoholics are by definition selfish. So it makes sense that this becomes a self-involved program.

But there is this "rule" that I love. Don't take yourself so damn seriously. Adam has it written somewhere, and I always have to remind him. He takes himself very seriously sometimes. I probably don't take myself seriously enough. I think about myself a lot and my needs, but I sure as hell don't act on them. I have a tendency to act according to other people's needs. I don't look out for myself enough; say what I need and not take no for an answer. I worry too much about others.

And I think that's a codependent behavior, right? Again, it comes down to the underlying emotional problem, not the alcoholism. I really believe that I can't drink like normal folks, but it's because I have emotional problems and baggage. Will I be able to drink once I get rid of those? Well, that's a trick question: you never truly get rid of your emotional baggage. It's always there. Sure, you can strive to be perfect, but then you're taking everything too seriously, again.

Life is fun! Or at least, it should be. Misery is optional.