My sarcastic Christmas letter

Dear friends and family,

Boy what a year! It's been amazingly topsy-turvy and full of exploration of both other lands and self.

Dad took a cruise this year with the brothers, sisters, and mom, and lost the straw pull. He had to sleep in the same room with grandma. She's losing her hearing, and man can she talk! She complains about a lot, but she does tell the neatest stories of WWII. Dad got another cold from her, and was down for the count for almost a month.

Dad also broke his finger this year, and arthritis set in right away. He can't move the finger more than 50%, and it's starting to hurt. But, of course, he did wait more than a month to go to the doctor. Silly dad!

Anne also traveled a lot this year, and had an awesome time in Europe. Doing another geographic, she plotted her move to Europe, but it didn't work out. She also got sober this year! Thank God, right? We all know she had crazy addiction problems, and hopefully now she'll stop driving dad crazy with all the dangerous things she does. And, she quit smoking! No more holding your breath when you give her a hug.

Anne really has had an interesting year. In September she was fired and forced to move back home. She doesn't have health insurance, and so is worried about getting her bipolar meds, but thank God for credit cards. What's another $1,000 charge, anyway? She's currently sitting on the couch staring off into space and hoping for another interview.

Well, we've had an interesting year! Hope yours has been better!

Love, Family

My Christmas letter

We just got a bunch of people's Christmas letters in the mail. "We've traveled the world." "We've traveled the U.S." "We all got promotions and the kids are on the Dean's list." So I asked my dad, "What would our Christmas letter look like?"

Dear friends and family,

This year has been full of surprises and alternating relaxed days. It has been a year of changes and growth; a year of retirement for both of us.

Dad began the year with a cruise around the world, stopping in Dubai, Vietnam, Hong Kong and more. He traveled with his brothers, sisters, and mom. They had a wonderful time and made sure to email the kids every now and again to brag.

In early March, Anne celebrated her 30th birthday by going to Europe, and wandered around Paris, Switzerland, and Austria. She plotted a move to Austria afterwards, saying how kind the people were and how perfect the snow-capped mountains.

Dad has been enjoying his retirement, taking long walks every day and counting the ducks on the river. He's decided that Canadian geese would be perfect dinner roasts, and is planning the day when he runs for office and makes geese legal to eat.

Anne is also taking an "early retirement." She moved back from the other coast to live with dad and take a little time off from working. She's enjoying her time meeting up with old friends and connecting with family.

We wish you all a wonderful new year, and a happy holidays!

Love, Anne and dad