The song says it

So I was mining my music for something to put on my iPod before I go to sleep. I found some Mumford and Sons, which if you haven't heard the Sigh No More album I highly recommend it. And then I saw the Phil Collins and thought, "Hey Phil! Long time!" So now I'm listening to "Separate Lives" and feel like throwing myself in front of a bus. Jesus, this is a depressing song.

Sometimes you just have to listen to depressing music. It fits the mood and makes you feel better; less alone in your pain. I'm not in pain, per se, I'm just feeling weird. I suppose what I need to do is what I've done with everything else I've quit: I just need to make a decision. Do I want to change? Do I want to stop thinking about him like this and just focus on the great friendship we have? Well, do I?

Go find this: "Winter Winds" is another good song by Mumford and Sons. "Was it love or fear of the cold?" "My head told my heart let love grow, but my heart told my head this time no."

And this is how I feel

All dressed up, no place to run
No car, no girl, no pills, no fun
Nothing to do in this empty room
I gotta get my head together soon

Alone again, no plans, no friends
You come around at half past ten
You say "How are you holding up my friend?
Are you sitting around getting drunk again?"

And I hear the desperation of those lines
Wasted hours, others wasted time
Uh, yeah, I been just fine!
...
And I wish I had the guts to scream
You know, things aren't always what they seem
When you walk away, I want to stay
Don't leave me here to pace and pray
....
Oh, happy, alright I might be, I guess
If I wasn't such a mess