Oh the places you'll go

I'm nervous and scared.

I don't like not having a stable income, or being able to support myself. I'm thirty-fucking-years old for crying out loud! I should be able to do it on my own. Instead, I'm unemployed and moving back in with my dad. I may get a retail job just to remain busy, as long as it doesn't interfere with my unemployment. If I get that.

I like change, I just like stable change. Everything was progressing so smoothly. I was having the best year of my life. Not that this is so horrible. This is just a bump in the road. God hands you lemons...blah, blah, blah. And I'm making the best of the situation. At least I have my family to move in with. Some people aren't that lucky. At least I have savings. At least, at least, at least.

But I'm still scared. Everything is happening so fast, of course, of my own making. It's all just going by quickly. One more day here in my apartment alone, and then I'm packed up and on the road. Two more days in the place I've called home for 5 years. It will always be here, but it will never be the same.

I hate to leave on a bad note, too. I hate to have one bad memory to leave on. I was hoping it would work out differently, but that's life. It doesn't do what you want.

So God is teaching me patience and perseverance. He's teaching me a lot of lessons this week, and I have a feeling he's not done yet. So we'll see where I end up. Hopefully it will be even better than before.