Don't fear the reaper

"Don't fear meeting your God," says Sister Bonnie.

I fear death. I never did before, but I do now. I never really thought of death, but I always had a visceral reaction to it. I swear I cried more at my grandfather's funeral than my grandmother did. I was so hurt and afraid. I had no reason to be. He was a spiritual man, and would go to meet his maker. This I believe, as a Catholic, that we join our God in heaven.

I have no idea what it looks like, but there is something out there.

There was a woman at the retreat who had lymphoma 10 years ago. Three years ago she had breast cancer. Now, she has a tumor in her lung, her armpit, and her stomach. But she cried in gratitude for being sober, not in pain for the fact that she was dying. She was living her life, and feeling like she was giving her best to the life she had left in her. She was fighting death, but not afraid at all. She had a spiritual program, and a deep relationship with her higher power.

I need to work on not being afraid. I need to work on believing in my God, and His power to make things right. Death would be an opening to a world I have never known; a place the bible promises is beautiful and sweet. I believe in a hell, too, but as a Catholic I believe that my faith will save me from that disaster. As I get closer to God, I get closer to heaven.