So I have about 40 minutes before I have to leave to go see the doc, and I'm trying to get my brain together. What do I feel? How am I? Am I depressed? Manic? Neither? What's really going on? And you know what? I have absolutely no idea. I mean, I'm tired as hell - which could be the Celexa or could be the lack of Abilify - and all I want to do is sleep. I'm getting fat, which is pissing me off. I'm still unemployed, which is also pissing me off. And nothing is changing. It's all still the way it was months ago. But hey, I'm not suicidal! Hooray!
What do I tell the man, then? Well, I've started having the energy to brush my teeth, which is a good sign. When I'm depressed the teeth are the first things to go. I'm sure I'm going to have major trouble with them when I'm older. Sometimes I wish for a little teeth brushing OCD but it never happens. I have a friend who was a meth head and that was his quirk. He has great teeth.
Back to me. I'm able to get up and get dressed everyday. I'm showering and putting on clean clothes that look nice. I took a trip. If anything, it's a low-level depression. And I think it's all situational. I'm pissed and depressed for really good reasons.
It's only been 2 days without the Abilify and I can't identify differences besides being really tired. I'm not sure he's going to give me more of it. He may increase the lithium, which would suck, I think. I already don't like it. It makes my stomach hurt if I don't eat with it, which I forgot to do this morning, and it makes me really thirsty. Damn salt.
Maybe he won't do anything. We shall see.
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