Travel the depression away

I just feel like curling up into a ball and hiding under my covers. Not that I could sleep, or anything, but I just don't want to be awake anymore. I haven't brushed my teeth in days, and I haven't taken a shower today. That's really weird for me. I take a shower even on my darkest days. Perhaps the Celexa isn't working at all. Maybe I should take the emergency Abilify? I only have a months worth, so I don't want to waste it if this is just situational. I'll wait it out a few more days and see if it gets debilitating.

At least my nails are pretty. They still look nice from when I got them done last week for my birthday. I can't believe it's only been a week. It's been a long week of no sleep and waiting for things to happen. Instead, absolutely nothing has happened and I'm still waiting. Fuck, this is frustrating! My whole body is a ball of tense stress. I can feel my back out of whack and my shoulders are up to my ears.

Maybe I should go get a massage. That would make my body feel better. But what will make me feel better, besides a job? And would a job even help anymore? I feel so nervous about working, now. I've been out of work so long that maybe I forgot how to work? How to use Outlook and Excel and the like? Maybe I'm getting dumber by the minute?

What I really need to do is go renew my passport and then take a trip. Perhaps I can take a trip anyway, but just go visit my friends in the middle of the country. I have a friend in Kansas I should see, and Jennifer just moved, too. I could go visit them. I'm going next Friday back to where I used to live to run that marathon that I'm not prepared for. Should be interesting to hang out there. Everything has changed. Michael is dating, Jennifer moved far away, and Andrea lives a few towns over, now. It will be different. But I get to get a new tattoo!! That should cheer me up.