What is this feeling?

So last night, I finally got some sleep. I went to bed at midnight and got up at noon. I think it's because I didn't take the Celexa. I moved it to the mornings, so I took it this morning instead. It's not keeping me up, per se, but it's definitely giving me that blank feeling. I just can't seem to feel. At least I got dressed today.

Perhaps it's all stress based. I'm supposed to hear from those two jobs this week, and I don't have anything else waiting in the wings, so they're really important. If no job this week, it won't be till May that something comes (figuring another months process of interviews). I'm so stressed out about it. I can't think of anything to do to distract myself, either. I suppose I should go for a run, but that's not going to happen, I know it. It was hard enough just to get these clothes on, let alone change again and then make my way outside.

What is wrong with me? The double dose of Celexa was supposed to cause mania, if anything. Why am I still depressed? Oh yeah, cause my life sucks right now. I'm stuck here at dad's, I'm broke, I lost my dog and my car to my mom, I don't have a job, and I don't have any friends. That last one isn't true, but most of my friends are living in different states, and all of them work during the day, so I'm alone 90% of the time.

You're not alone, you say. Your dad is retired. He's home. Yeah, well, he's more of a hermit than I am. He sits in his room with his baseball cards and I sit in mine with my technology, and we see each other in the kitchen sometimes. It's like living alone.

Ok, I'm done whining for the day. I think.