What to do

Damnit, it's 3:30 in the morning and I'm not going to get any sleep any time soon. And, I have cigarettes, but my insomniac dad is still up reading a book in the living room. No smoking for me. Damn.

I've been talking to Michael all night and the more I think about it the better it seems to go back to school. I mean, I love school. I love learning. I love reading. I love attending lectures. I really do. And I think the topic would hold my interest. Everything will just fall into place. I have to trust that.

Why's it so hard to just let go? Because I don't have the luxury my mom has of being taken care of. I would never just rely on my dad. I've been here 7 months and I feel awful about it. I want to pay rent, or something, but I'm too broke to bring it up. I feel like I have to move out after a year. Anything over a year is just pathetic. Ugh. Just thinking about that is making me sad. 7 months of living at home, basically doing nothing but traveling every now and again and hitting some meetings.

I got rid of my couch and moved everything into cheaper (free) storage at my moms apartment building. I think with the money I'm saving I can move out at the end of the summer. So I'll give myself till September. If I don't have a job by then, I'll get a room with some other folks. Let's go do the budget....