Change the channel

So the first discussion I found on that site is about sponsorship.

"Working the steps is not contingent upon daily phone calls, attendance at so many meetings, going to particular meetings, being told how to dress or who in recovery to associate with. There is more, but I think you get the point. Generations pass rigid control from sponsor to sponsee in the name of recovery. Where is the love and tolerance?"

Which is exactly how I felt about my old sponsor here. She was a little rigid in her view of what works, and it definitely wasn't the way it was working for me before with my first sponsor. Sure, everyone is different, and her way wasn't mine, but it's nice to see that others recognize that some people are a little type A about AA (ha), and that it's not necessary.

"...sponsorship was like turning the dial on a radio... we all like to listen to a different radio station and prefer different types of music... and sometimes when we try to tune in to a station and we can't pick-up the signal, its fuzzy and there's lots of static no matter how hard we keep adjusting. But after awhile we keep trying to hear a good song and eventually we will turn the dial onto a station with a good signal and we can hear & understand the words of the song so perfectly, and so clear!"

That's just what I need to do: find another sponsor and keep looking until I find that radio station that I can hear the good music on. I'm not looking for the "perfect" sponsor, or someone who isn't going to push me, but in 8 months I've come to learn what suggestions I will and won't look at (maybe yet) from AA. I know the language that makes sense, and the language that sounds condescending. I just need to find a sponsor who speaks my language.

Public Service Announcement

"Hazelden announced that it has launched a newly enhanced Sober24, the online social media site that helps people throughout the world maintain their recovery from addiction and compulsive behaviors. The site, at www.sober24.com, offers online membership as a free service to everyone in recovery, providing members with easy access to the recovery community, as well as experts, resources and services in addiction treatment."

Disclaimer: going to check it out now, but didn't pre-post. I generally trust Hazelden, though.

Let's chat!

Ok, that was a bust. In an hour only 3 people got to share because typing takes some people a long time (resentment!). They didn't really have a topic, per se. I mean, they said it was First Things First, but no one really talked about that. But, it's interesting to try something out for the first time. If I had a broken leg and couldn't get to meetings any other way, then I would definitely use it again. You still get to hear How It Works, and there's always some sort of AA-ness about it, even online.

One thing they did discuss is someone's friend was sponsoring a guy who then killed himself. Said sponsor is now back to drinking, blaming himself for the suicide. Her point was we are just alcoholics helping others, not trained professionals, and people need to get help where they need it, not just from AA. Good point, but I wonder the correlation between alcoholics and suicide. Is an alcoholic more likely to commit suicide (because of the damage done to their brain by drinking, perhaps?), or is a depressed person more likely to take up alcohol?

Apparently, "Alcoholics who live alone, and those who have personality disorders, are up to ten times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population." We may never know if alcohol or depression came first, but the suicide rates are both high (though in mental illness the rate is more like 20x the general population).

Speaking of patience....

I'm trying out an online meeting. It's on stepchat.com, just in case you want to try it out. I think it's a great idea for people who are stuck in the house or at work and need a meeting. I was wondering what in the world it was going to be like....

So far it's SLOW. She's reading How It Works and typing three sentences at a time. Slowly. The steps alone are taking forever. And it doesn't help that I've got the internet here as an added distraction. What I really need to do is get up off my butt and drive to a meeting, but it's 18 degrees outside and I'm feeling especially unwilling to go outside today. Since it's only noon, I know I need to make a plan to leave the house at some point. So, I think I'll hit a regular meeting sometime this afternoon.

There are a lot of people in the chat room; 20 maybe. More than I thought. It's conducted a lot like an AA meeting, where people raise their hands to talk (by typing !! first). So let's pay attention....