All you have to change is everything

In the rooms they say all you have to change is everything about your life. I get that. You have to have a life built out of recovery and not just keep on living the way you were. That's not progress, and this program is about progress.

But it bothers me that people think recovery comes before people. Shouldn't your wife and kids be more important than AA? Shouldn't you make more time for them than for a meeting? And then I read this and understood:

"For me, recovery has to come in first place, ahead of wife, kids, job, and other relationships that I treasure. Part of this decision is practical. If I put recovery in second (or lower) place, I will eventually lose my recovery, as well as whatever it was I put in first place. Hazelden wouldn't allow me to work with patients if I relapsed. My wife isn't willing to stick with me through an alcoholic death spiral, the way she did with her first husband. My daughters wouldn't want a melancholy, drunk granddad for their children"

No one wants a drunk around, especially those who have already seen your bottom and don't ever want to see you go there again. Recovery is the only way you have relationships with the people in your life, therefore your recovery is the most important thing.

I think that's going to be hard for me, because I always put people first, but I've got to start putting my recovery in first place. I need to make time to do my step work and read my books instead of agreeing to spend an entire Saturday at a bbq. That may mean waking up earlier and hitting the 6:30 meeting, but so be it. Meetings should be the most important appointment in my early sobriety.