Now my pants fit

The painting and reorganizing of the apartment never seems to stop. My dad's stuff is still all in his storage, and he thinks it'll be a month before things move back in. I have got to got to get out of here.

So I went out to buy a suit today: a plain black, boring suit in the size I actually am now, not was 6 months ago. It's very depressing. I went to the gym and weighed myself and I've gained 16 pounds since I've been unemployed. "Part of that is just winter weight," says Julie, but it's still weight I have to lose.

Pants. So I had to buy pants two sizes up in order for them to fit. Sigh. I found a nice grey suit and a nice black suit, and then I rebelled and bought a black blazer that has a knit pattern on it. It's neat looking and not boring, but it's black and could be conservative. We'll see. The pants are just black. Works for me.

I got another call back from the place I met with last week. This will be interview number 3 with them, interview #21 in general. I don't care about the job anymore, I just need to be working. This job sounds horribly boring, the commute is 2 metro changes and $4.50 each way, and they all seem stiff and conservative. But I don't care. I don't have any other options, and I have to get out. I can't keep living here.

It all makes sense

I'm awake and thinking about lots of things. They say not to change anything in the first year, and yet here I am, about to change everything. Or maybe, God is changing everything for me. He's given me a giant billboard that says, "Here's your opportunity." And so I'm taking it. I'm going to take this opportunity to reinvent myself. I can go back and be anyone I want, because I am someone different than when I left. I am a stronger person, now, and able to take change in stride.

I'm packing up my house in preparation and trying to figure out what else to do with my week. I need to get a few more boxes, and my friend Virginia suggested that I go sit with a cup of coffee at the bookstore tomorrow. I think that's a great idea. Just take it easy.

I'm still in a little shock about the job thing. I'm not quite sure what happened, and I'm trying to get in touch with HR for a good explanation. I've never been reprimanded for my performance, or anything like that. In fact, last week my boss said I was doing a good job! But he's volatile, and probably made a snap decision because he was mad over one thing or another. He's hard to get a read on. I'm a little mad (resentment!) over the whole thing. I hate that I'll have to mark it on any resume that asks if I've ever been fired. I wish I would have been given the option to resign.

But I kind of saw it coming once he became my boss. I had my resume prepared the week after he stepped in, cause I just knew something would go wrong. And I was prepared to move, anyway. It all seems to be making sense....

Wow, that just happened

So I just got fired. My boss walked in and said, "This isn't working out. Go talk to HR." I have no idea what just happened.

And what's funny, is I have no inclination to drink. I didn't even think about it till Adam said to call my sponsor. My first thing was, how do I tell my dad. My second idea was to call my therapist and tell her I'm actually ok with it. I hated that damn job anyway. I'm kind of relieved. My boss was just such an egotistical ass.

So I'm doing fine. I think it's a sign that I should move home now. My dad said I can move in with him, and my mom can get me storage for $25 a month at her apartment complex. Plus, I get three weeks severance, so I'll be set for 2 months, at least. If I can get out of here before October, then I won't have to pay rent here. That'll save me more money. I can just get a truck and take my time cross-country. I can see the US!

It is strange to have nothing to do, though, so I'm packing up my place. I think I'm just going to order a truck and get on with moving.