ACOA

Growing up in a dysfunctional home can have lifetime effects on you.

"Often you chose relationships that reenact what you grew up with such as having partners that are not emotionally or physically present, such as your parents. You may find yourself contributing to enabling behaviors as your parents did growing up. You might chose to live in denial about important issues in your life, because that is the only defense mechanism you feel comfortable with when you are in pain."

I'm not a child of alcoholics, but a child of dysfunction, nonetheless. My mom was unstable during my teen years, and probably showed a lot of that behavior in my childhood, which unfortunately I can't remember. I do look for friends with drama, but lately I've been looking for normal folks. People without addictions and hard family lives. But I'm just attracted to these people! I find them without even knowing about it.

My fun defense mechanisms were alcohol and drugs and controlling behavior. I'm trying to remedy all that, as well. I need to learn patience and love for others, and accept that people can do it on their own. Not everyone needs my guidance.