I'm awake

I don't want to be awake. I want it to be tomorrow. I want to wake up and hear the news, and then start putting everything into motion.

Adam said to me tonight, "It's in God's hands now." And he's right. There's nothing I can do about the outcome, except put on a good face for tomorrow's interview. I just have to be my regular professional self on the phone,and tell the truth about my qualifications for the position. With God's help, I'll do a good job. With patience, I'll get through this.

Obviously I still need to practice step three a lot. Give it up. Give the outcome over to God and just do your best. That's so damn hard! It's hard not to force my will on a situation and jump the gun. I have boxes and bubble wrap here, and all I want to do is pack! I just want to wrap my plates and blender in bubble wrap. I just want to take things down from the walls and patch the holes. I want to tell my slumlord that I'm outta here!

I want, I want, I want. I need, need, to just relax and let things happen as they will. Let go and let God.