The meds question again

Got together with Annie today (it's fun when people have your name) and read a little from the Big Book. We were going to go out to a meeting, but the metro was a little late because of service on the line I was on. So we read instead.

We read something called Acceptance about a pharmacist who did a lot of his own drugs as well as drank too much. Annie and I talked about taking prescription meds, and she mentioned that some people are so against it that they won't even sponsor you. But she's on meds, and thinks that if you need it, take it. She said she's not ready to give that up, and I shouldn't be unless I want to. "It would kill me," she said, "I'd probably commit suicide."

I totally believe that. Every time I've been off meds I've either tried to commit suicide, or I've been in that dark place where I totally could. I don't ever want to go back there.

I have 2 pigeon sisters (people who are sponsored by my sponsor) who are on meds. We talked about it last night on the way to the meeting. I haven't broached it with my sponsor, but I'm sure they have, and she seems ok with it. I don't even want to know if she is against it. Hiding again. Sigh. I should tell her.