Why is my sleep so funky?

I didn't sleep last night. I kept waking up every hour and staring at the clock. I would fall back asleep only to wake up the next hour and stare at the clock. I talked to my sponsor this morning, and she was saying that something must be up with me. "It'll come to the surface," she said. I just have to go to meetings and talk to people.

Maybe it's the lying to her that's got me up at night. I've been thinking a lot about how much I lie. Remember back a few months ago when Michael said I don't actually lie a lot? He was pretty sure I'm too honest. I can be too honest about a lot of stuff, but not when I want someone to like me. Then I seem to lie more often. I pretend I'm someone I'm not.

So what do I do about it? Do I confess that I haven't been to enough meetings lately? Do I tell her I'm a little uncomfortable having to call her every day? It's getting easier. And they always tell you, of course it's uncomfortable. We're not used to depending on anyone but ourselves. We're not used to getting close to people. So I suppose I just have to keep doing things that make me uncomfortable.

It's time for a run.