I like me

Could just be the depression talking, but I've got to admit some things to myself: I don't really like running. I don't get stressed and think, "A good run will make me feel better." In fact, I usually think I should think that. And although I loved being a size 6, I'm perfectly comfortable naked at any size. I'm not ashamed of my body. In fact, I think it's pretty awesome. I'm sexy, and curvy, and covered in tattoos, and I love it.

So why do I try so hard? Why do I run anyway? Why do I keep going back to Weight Watchers? Because I worry. I worry that I won't look good in the kind of clothes I want to wear. I worry my tattoos will expand if I get fat again. I worry, I worry, I worry. And needlessly, methinks.

So I'm going to stop fooling myself. I'm ok the way I am. If I buy clothes I like in sizes that fit, it doesn't matter what size that is. My body is healthy and seems to settle at this weight, so let it be. Stop trying to be someone you're not. I've never been an athlete, so why force it? Just. Be. Me.

I'm in: Stop Self Hate

There's a lovely lady on Twitter (VoiceinRecovery) who decided to start a new campaign to stop self hate. "Because I am ready. I want to prevent eating disorders, self hate, self harm, and radically work towards self love, respect," she says.

And how do you stop self hate? Well, it's the little things. It's all about the self care things you do everyday like eating right, but not obsessing over it. Exercising, but not too much. Everything in moderation. Just being comfortable with yourself. One of the things I've started doing is buying myself flowers. They brighten up my room and keep me happy. I always get different types so that I can have different colors and blooms.

Some things I can do to love myself a little more is forgive myself for gaining some weight. It's ok. I've been through a lot lately, and it's ok to have fallen a bit off track. It doesn't mean I'm a loser or hideous or anything. In fact, I'm probably at a healthier weight now. My body has settled. I need to be ok with it, even if it means buying bigger clothes.

So what can you do to love yourself a little more? Be a little less judgmental? Show yourself the kindness you would a friend.

Stop self hate.