The horoscope speaks

Playing the popular game of 'hard to get' is not the smartest strategy for you today. Actually, game playing in general is not advised in life: It causes way too much confusion and is inherently disrespectful to the other person. If you want to be part of someone's life, you need to be up front. Don't get caught up in which one of you is making the first move -- all you should be focusing on is establishing communications. So swallow your pride and do what it takes.

So, yeah. It's always spot on.

I'm moving back in with my dad in 2 weeks, and he's been not so supportive of the going back to school thing. And then here's my horoscope for today.

Horoscope:

Get ready to build a much cozier relationship with someone who holds a great deal of authority in your life right now. You will be spending a lot more time in this person's company, and you will be expected to act more as a peer than a subordinate. Try not to be intimidated by her or his somewhat chilly demeanor. Focus on getting your ideas across, not on being charming. Work for this person's respect, not for a laugh or a smile (that will come naturally later).

Holy crap, horoscope

If you've been feeling underappreciated in one of your personal relationships lately, today you need to deal with the problem once and for all -- proclaim that you will no longer be anyone's doormat! Past patterns in your life do not have to be repeated, especially now that you have the wisdom of hindsight to show you the right way to handle this situation. It's your own, personal independence day! Keep moving forward and do not look back.

But I can run away...

Horoscope:

When something is troubling you, it can be helpful to try to live in an illusion -- to keep yourself so distracted that you don't have to deal with unpleasant thoughts. This is an acceptable short-term solution, but it's a very bad long-term strategy. Today you need to face the reality of where you are and what has been going on. Reality is never as awful as you fear. Plus, you can't get control of your life if you don't see it accurately.

Damn you horoscope!

"Any predictions from psychics, fortune cookies or bubble gum wrappers aren't going to give you insight on things today -- if they ever did. The fact is that there's no way to see into the future, so trying to do so is a huge waste of your time. Vague promises of future activities, future romance or even future jobs are feeling a bit empty right now. Position yourself as someone who needs to see something before you believe it and you won't be disappointed."

Even my horoscope agrees

My horoscope:

"For Saturday, March 12 -When you lose perspective on how much you have in your life, you miss out on understanding your own value. So cherish who you are and what you offer the world -- otherwise, you'll become easy prey to the green-eyed monster that's been knocking at your door. Jealousy isn't going to do anything but slow you down and delay your ability to feel confident. Progress can't happen through the cloud of envy -- let other people have their own success stories. Your time is coming soon."

Wasn't I just talking about envy and jealousy earlier in the week? And my cousin just got a job, so I'm a little jealous there. Though to be fair to him, it's his first job out of college, so I'm really proud, too. But man have I been jealous of everyone lately. It's just not fair, you know? I'm smart, I work hard, I'm personable. Damnit, employ me!

Sigh. My time is coming soon. Let's hope it's real soon.

Enneagrams

Have you ever done the enneagram tests? They're neat little personality tests where you can find out a little more about how you tick. I'm apparently a 2, which is the helper. We are "motivated by the need to be loved and valued and to express their positive feelings towards others." Sounds about right, maybe. But then I read a book my therapist gave me and it said:

"How to get along with me (a 2):
-Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you criticize me."

Wow. That's so me. I really need to know I'm loved and needed. It's important to me that others see that I do care, and I want to be here to help. I want them to come to me with their problems; I want to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear their concerns. And man do I get defensive when criticized. I hate it. It makes me think I'm unloved, and I just can't stand it.

It also says twos have trouble asking for what they want, and so become manipulative. Yeah, that's me, too. I have so much trouble even knowing what I want, and I don't usually know until I've manipulated the situation to give me what I think I need. I tend to "rule" other people in order to play out the situation the way I want it. I get frustrated when I'm not in charge. All two-like behavior.

It's funny when some odd little test can pin you down so perfectly. My horoscope does that all the time, too. It just seems to know me. Any book you read about my sign usually has me pretty much pegged. I don't know how.

Adam's mom had a psychic friend who did a map of Adam and my future while we were dating, but she never showed it to us. She said she couldn't let us effect the future by reading it. I have always wanted to know what she saw, because I'm pretty sure it would be right.

The horoscope speaks for me

"For Sunday, November 21 -If anyone is famous for being able to withstand anything and everything with compassion, understanding and sensitivity, it's you. You're usually quite able to keep your temper under wraps, too. At the moment, however, it won't be easy for you to hide anything you feel, for better or worse. You'll also surprise everyone around you with your reactions. If you're accused of overreacting, hang in there. Just because they're not used to seeing you this way doesn't mean you're not justified."

Why is my horoscope always right? I don't feel like pretending anymore. I don't feel like kidding myself that it's all fine - that I know this too shall pass, that everything is going to be alright. Lots of people spend a lot of time in unemployment. My friend Sam has been unemployed for 2 years! Tim has been unemployed for 3! Sam had to declare bankruptcy, twice. I don't want to go there. I don't want to have to sell my car, or sell all my stuff in storage because I can't afford the $200 a month fee anymore. I could cash in my 401k and my money market accounts and live comfortably for years, but I don't want to do that, either.

I'm so worried about all of this. I just don't have any idea how it's going to turn out, or maybe, when it's going to turn out alright.