Enneagrams

Have you ever done the enneagram tests? They're neat little personality tests where you can find out a little more about how you tick. I'm apparently a 2, which is the helper. We are "motivated by the need to be loved and valued and to express their positive feelings towards others." Sounds about right, maybe. But then I read a book my therapist gave me and it said:

"How to get along with me (a 2):
-Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you criticize me."

Wow. That's so me. I really need to know I'm loved and needed. It's important to me that others see that I do care, and I want to be here to help. I want them to come to me with their problems; I want to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear their concerns. And man do I get defensive when criticized. I hate it. It makes me think I'm unloved, and I just can't stand it.

It also says twos have trouble asking for what they want, and so become manipulative. Yeah, that's me, too. I have so much trouble even knowing what I want, and I don't usually know until I've manipulated the situation to give me what I think I need. I tend to "rule" other people in order to play out the situation the way I want it. I get frustrated when I'm not in charge. All two-like behavior.

It's funny when some odd little test can pin you down so perfectly. My horoscope does that all the time, too. It just seems to know me. Any book you read about my sign usually has me pretty much pegged. I don't know how.

Adam's mom had a psychic friend who did a map of Adam and my future while we were dating, but she never showed it to us. She said she couldn't let us effect the future by reading it. I have always wanted to know what she saw, because I'm pretty sure it would be right.