You're constantly rewiring

Now this is fascinating:

...severe stress and adverse life events, such as losing a job or family member, prompt neurobiological processes that physically alter the brain. Neurons change shape and connections. Some die, but others sprout as the brain rewires itself. This neural remodeling employs basic wound-healing mechanisms, which means it can be painful and occasionally incapacitating, even when it's going well.

"It's necessary and normal so that an individual can adapt, change behavior and deal with altered circumstances," Markou said. Real problems occur only "when these restructuring processes go into overdrive, beyond what is necessary and adaptive, and for longer periods of time than needed. Then depression becomes pathological."

So your brain tries to repair itself after stressful events, and that just leads to it changing it's neural pathways. But when that goes haywire, it leads to a chronic condition. I suppose repeated stressors can cause it to wire itself to depression. I know I had a lot of stress as a kid; I was just born a stress case, I think; and so maybe my brain is just wired this way now.

With these additional stressful events happening in my life, maybe my brain is rewiring again for more depression? That's why I wanted to find a therapist as soon as possible when I got here. I didn't want to fall into a depression unaided. But I think I might be getting manic instead. I can't sleep (obviously), and I'm just feeling kinda off. My psych doc said she would only give me 2 months prescription for my meds because I'm "not stable yet," so she wanted me to find someone as soon as possible. Perhaps it's time to call the psych docs in the area and set up an appointment.