Shopping without shopping

Just got a package in the mail and it was like Christmas! I ordered a bunch of stuff before I was unemployed, and Michael sent it to me last week. It finally got here, and now I have two new pair of pants, 2 sweaters, and a multi-colored shell. Everything looks like a rainbow all spread out on my bed. It's so nice to have the feeling of shopping without having to spend any money doing it.

I finally took a peek at my bank account this afternoon. It's not as scary as I thought it would be after I paid a bunch of bills, but it's still really low. I think I have three more months before I'm out of money. If I don't get a job, I may just sell my car and use that money. Or I have $4k left over from when my grandpa left, which would give me another 4 months of security.

This money thing is the worst part of being unemployed. I still haven't received any unemployment checks. I really hate financial instability, and I'm feeling really anxious about it. I think I'll go smoke a cigarette.