How to quit

So, I didn't make it to a meeting today. My aunt is leaving tomorrow morning and I went down there with 2 hours to spare, and came back 30 minutes after the meeting would have started. That's what I get for not paying attention to time. You and I both know I probably wasn't going to go anyway, but hell, I at least told myself I was trying. That's gotta count for something.

Instead, I watched bad tv with my dad. Now I have to find a reason to slip outside for a cigarette before I go to bed. I wish he was like old folks and went to bed at a reasonable hour, but the man has worse insomnia than I do. I know he can hear me going outside when he's in his bedroom, so I know he knows where I go when I "sneak" outside.

Jennifer and I talked about how we've got to quit smoking. It's just ridiculous. It has such a hold on us both. We really are absolutely powerless over this addiction. So how do you quit smoking? I suppose just like you quit anything: you make a decision and you follow through. You get help where you need it.

So what's the plan? Number one: decide. Well, I'm not there yet. I don't want to quit that badly. It's not awful yet. But I do want to quit in some manners. It's expensive, it's smelly, etc. But what vices do I have left? What do I replace it with? What's something I can do instead of smoking? It's got to be something I can do anywhere, anytime, so it can't be running. Most people chew gum, but I hate chewing gum or suckers or such. I tried with the Tootsie Roll pops earlier this year. I wonder where those are... did I put them in storage? That's not a good idea...

I'm going to have rats.