Halloweeny is a great word

I think he's stopped reading this, so here I go.

Tonight was spent doing Halloweeny things with great friends. Adam and I went over to some old friends' house to carve pumpkins and hang about eating bacon flavored popcorn and cupcakes, not bacon flavored. They haven't been hanging out with Adam since he got sober because I think they're afraid to have booze around him. She emailed me ahead of time to see if it was ok with he and I if they had booze at the party. So funny. I told her we love alcohol, so there was no problem there. We carved away and I came out with an avant garde looking reindeer on my pumpkin. Unfortunately, they used to have a cat, which caught up with Adam after a while.

Instead of hitting the haunted forest, we went back to his place so he could take some drugs and get over the catness in his chest. We watched Dexter, and then took a nap. A four hour nap. It's nice to cuddle up to him, or even just be in the same bed. I love the way he smells. I love to be in his arms, even just to hear him sleep. I am so in love with him it's ridiculous.

There's a Joan Jett song, "I hate myself for loving you." I feel like that all the time. I don't know how he feels about me, and that drives me crazy sometimes. What also drives me nuts is this "suggestion" about no relationships for a year. We've known each other 11 years for heaven's sake! It would seem to override any crazy suggestion. But I suppose that's part of teaching me patience. I just have to be patient with him, too, and see how he feels in 7 months, and how I feel, too.