Building self-esteem

I feel like a fool sometimes for loving Adam. I know that's "negative self-talk" but I'm not full of serenity enough to do any better right now. Mr. Sponorpants says about self-esteem, "Look at your using history and your time sober and consider that you may just have to wait for a bit for your brain chemistry to catch up with the rest of your sobriety."

6 months isn't a lot of time, and I've been smoking, which is also a depressant. I figure by a year I'll have a little more chemical balance, and be able to start working on how I really feel. But right now, I feel like a fool. When you love someone and they don't love you (like that) back, it just makes you feel like an idiot for doing it in the first place. I'd like to not feel like this anymore.

So what can I do to build self-esteem in the meantime, while my chemicals even out? Perhaps the running will help. I need to not base my self-esteem on how men see me, which is a common problem of mine. Perhaps being celibate is a really good idea, though it's killing me to even think of another 6 months in a "dry spell."

What else? Getting a job would really help, but I have no control over that. I just called one of the places I interviewed, the job I really want, to see if I could answer more questions, but I stumbled through the message and sounded like an idiot. More negative self-talk, I know, but it's the truth.

How do you separate the two? What is the truth, and what's just being down on yourself?