Dual diagnosis here I come

I just noticed what time it is. I was going to go to a meeting tonight. Damn. Last one is at 8:30. I suppose tomorrow I can get up at a decent hour and go to a meeting before my interview. I need to find a sponsor. It would be nice to have one, and it would be especially good right now that I'm having thoughts of medicating with substances. Julie and I agreed that if the urge gets too overwhelming to self-medicate that I should have a cigarette. Just the thought of smoking stops me in my tracks, though, since it's just so gross to start again. It smells so bad, and tastes so bad, and is expensive, "And there are over 200 chemicals in it." Gross.

My old sponsor out west has been sending me a gratitude list everyday, as have a few other women on this listserve. It's been really nice to see what is keeping everyone else sober. I think I may ask her to continue to sponsor me until I can find someone. I really like her, and she's easy to talk to.

What I need to do is hit the dual-diagnosis meeting in the city and see if I can find a sponsor there. It would be nice to have someone who understands the ups and downs of bipolar coupled with alcoholism. It is kind of a different beast to be one of the people with "mental and emotional problems."