It's in the soil

"The growing season has been long and unproductive. Perhaps it's the soil that lacks nutrition?" -Julie, on Adam.

She's a smart cookie. But I said I wouldn't talk about that anymore. He and I are just friends, and so I'm going to take that boundary to heart. I've successfully become just friends with many of my exes and had none of this lingering love crap. So I know I can do it. It's just a matter of setting those boundaries and sticking to them.

I feel good about this. I feel like it's a huge weight to know that he really just wants to be friends, and I really just want to be friends. When we were talking I said, "I'm not asking anything from you. I love you, but I don't want a relationship with you." And it made me really think. What's the point, then? Do I just love him as a friend and not know how to identify that? Am I just used to loving people less? Or in a different way? I don't know. But to realize that you don't want anything to come from it is something. What do I want?

I just want that friendship, too. I think part of me just wants the physical relationship because I need that kind of touch right now, and he's the best candidate. Maybe it's not about him at all? Ok, on to a different topic.