Stop talking about it and do it

Thanks to Guinevere over on Guinevere Gets Sober for turning me on to Reverb10. "Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next." I am woefully behind, but I'm going to start with yesterday's prompt: what are 11 things my life doesn't need in 2011.

I can not believe it's almost 2011, by the way. I think in 2010 I've been able to get rid of a hell of a lot so far. It's been the year of shedding bad vices and pulling myself into a new way of life. So what else can I shed? What else can I get rid of?

1. Diet Coke. That's right, I can rid myself of one more addiction. Will I do it? Tune in....

2. Laziness. How in the hell is that possible! I have to figure out why I'm so lazy, first, which leads me to....

3. Procrastination.

4. Clothes. I have a Loft addiction, and my closet is bursting with price tags from new clothes. I don't have a lot of closet space, and I sure as hell don't have anywhere else to put things (no dresser space), so it's time to purge.

5. Lying. I've got to stop lying to my sponsor about going to meetings. Jesus, this is like a fourth step list now!

6. All of these things seem to be in the "addict behavior" category. My addictions, like diet Coke and shopping. My behaviors like lying, procrastinating, being lazy, and impulsive. Doing stuff under the radar and doing things I know I shouldn't, like sleeping with Michael and talking about getting married just for the health insurance. All these things are old behaviors I really need to get rid of.

All of these things I can rid myself of, but all in a year? I suppose that's where AA comes in. Actually DOING my fourth step instead of stopping mid-stream and ignoring it for a while. So maybe that's my end of year resolution: do my fourth step.

I eat dirt

They always say, "things were better/different then." I know my dad talks a lot about simpler times, and how kids used to just wake up and go outside to find something to do. Kids would just play with sticks and dirt, sometimes getting it under their fingers and into their mouths. Kids were always covered in mud. At least, I was. And now, it may be that the mud was good for us.

"Rates of depression in younger people have steadily grown to outnumber rates of depression in the older populations and researchers think it may be because of a loss of healthy bacteria."

Kids now a days (now I sound old) are just sitting around inside playing Wii, using the internet, and texting their friends instead of going outside and making up games. Besides being couch bound, which is horrible for your health, it makes them less able to protect themselves from depression because they don't get that dirt!

So send your kids, and yourself, outside for a bit. Leave your wired world behind and make a fort. Get some dirt under your nails. Eat it.

I love my horoscope

I like this one:

"For Sunday, December 12 -If you sense something new coming today, you are correct -- right around the corner there is an opportunity coming that will challenge and excite you. Your instincts, as usual, are totally on target. This is just one more confirmation that you are taking the right path."

Oh! Something awesome this way comes, so says the horoscope. The more I'm looking at moving into the City, the more it looks pretty cool. I wouldn't mind another big city. I really like them, and this one also has great public transportation. I wouldn't mind selling my car and avoiding $400 a month in car and insurance fees. That's money towards a nicer apartment! Plus, my mom has officially dog-napped my dog, so I don't have those bills anymore. It's sad, because I do love the little bugger, but it does make life easier. I don't have to worry about him being home alone, because she's retired, and that makes me happy. He's loving life.

So I have this interview tomorrow. It's a big organization, so I'm hoping the pay scale is large, too. I don't know what I would ask for, because I'm not sure what the scale looks like there. I need to do a little research, first.

Thin brains

More on smoking: Smoking can thin the lining of the brain, which is already thinned by age. It can lead to cognitive problems and such, and they've found that the thinning takes place (for smokers) right in the part of the brain that deals with addictions.

"The orbitofrontal cortex has frequently been implicated in drug addiction. The current findings suggest that smoking-related cortical thinning may increase the risk for addictions, including smoking." All addictions? So if you have a thinner lining of your brain, are you more prone to addictions in general? I would love to know.

The next study they say they're going to do is look at whether quitting smoking repairs the lining. Now that would be nice.

Smoke a little smile off your face

Quitting smoking might make you happier. "Researchers tracked the symptoms of depression in people who were trying to quit and found that they were never happier than when they were being successful, for however long that was."

It's actually amazing, I haven't been depressed since I quit. Once the horrible snottiness wore off, I still didn't want a cigarette, and I still don't. It's been two weeks, and no signs of wanting to cut myself or anything like that. It's been relatively easy. I'm not sure why. Maybe quitting really does make you happy.....

Would you move for a job?

Speaking of jobs, I went to a great session at the conference on job hunting. A friend and colleague of mine was teaching it, and she said something important that really stuck. When she was looking for a job she was living in Florida, and was really just looking in that area. And then someone offered her an interview in NYC. "NYC?" she said, "I don't want to live there!"

But you never pass up an interview. Every single one is a chance to network and hone your skills. Even if you pull out of the interview process, that person is bound to know someone else who is hiring. It's all about the connections you make. So she went. And then she discovered something... she liked NYC. And she got the position. So she moved.

"Don't limit yourself geographically."

And so I'm not. I'm looking all over the coast, even all over the States. At this point I just want a job where I can make a home for myself and maybe build my career instead of just having jobs I hate. It wouldn't really matter where that was, I suppose. I think I was just trying to move home in order to make a change. I love change. But I realize now that I can still be close to home without being geographically close. Sure, it's expensive to fly cross-country, but if that's the price of happiness, then so be it.

Love and travel

Hour two of sitting in Boston's Logan Airport, and I feel I've exhausted all internet wormholes. And then I remembered, "I write a blog!" Thank God for something to do for another 30 minutes while I wait for my flight to board.

The conference I went to was wonderful and exhausting. I got to hang out in the City and see all my friends. We didn't have Christmas, but I got to have dinner with Jennifer and Michael. Michael. He's still in love with me, I think. He proposed to me so I could get health insurance, but I really think he meant it seriously. We laughed and joked about a sham marriage, and then talked seriously about the implications of something like that. I've never been married (he has), and I still take it seriously. I know marriages have a 50% fail rate, but really everything in life is 50/50. You take a shot, but you do it for love.

I also got an email from a potential employer who wants to have an interview with me on Monday. The job is in another major city on the coast, not where I'm currently living, but I think that would be fine. Everywhere on this coast is within a day's drive or an hour flight. Jet Blue and such have cheap (under $50) deals sometimes, so it would be easy to get home for a weekend.

But would I want to live in THAT city? THE city of cities? I've been there a few times, and that's where my favorite baseball team is, but I've never thought of living there. It's super expensive, they say, but all the apartments I've looked at are on par with where I used to live. So we'll see. I have to get a job, first, before I start thinking about these things.