7 questions

There's a blogger out there who says he uses 7 questions to see if someone is really serious in their journey to AA.

Here are the Seven Questions:

1. In looking back over your life – what memories are still painful, guilty, dirty?
2. In what ways do you consider yourself an inadequate person?
3. Who do you resent – and why? Be specific.
4. What do you conceive to be your defects of character – as you see them today?
5. What is the nature of the ongoing problems you have with people close to you – in human relations – what seems to always happen when you have these things that blow up?
6. In what way do you believe that A.A. can help you with any of these problems?
7. In what way do you believe that A.A. can begin to change things?

He says if someone takes longer than a day to address the questions, he thinks they're not ready and moves on. In the beginning I would have done these in an hour. Now, I'm just thinking about thinking about them. I probably wouldn't sit down with my journal and do it (though I just might now that I've thought about how silly that is - not to address important things).

So what memories are painful? Well, let me tell you they all deal with my mom. There's just so much there. I think I couldn't cover it all in a day. And inadequacy, well, without a job I feel like I'm completely inadequate. I think not having patience makes me inadequate. My resentments. That's a whole 8 pages at this point. I've gotten that far in my fourth step.

My defects of character: impatience, impulsivity, emotionally blocked off from people, cruel sometimes, and I'm sure there is more. What always seems to happen is I pull away from people. Once I'm sure they love me, I pull back and try to protect myself from what could possibly happen. Can AA help me? Can AA change things?