But I want to take my meds....

I found a pretty funny site called "Stuff Unemployed People Like." He hasn't written in months, but some of them are really funny. Like that we all dream of that vacation we wanted to take, and we wear work clothes to sit around the house. I know I'm doing all of that.

Being unemployed, sober, cigarette-less, living at home, and without health insurance is all a crazy mixture for a bipolar chicka. Every one of those things can make you depressed, and the fun thing is, most of those things make you gain weight, too. My pants sure as hell don't fit. My biggest worry is being without health insurance.

When a bipolar person doesn't take their meds, well, there are lots of possible outcomes, but I usually get really manic for about 2 weeks and then crash really hard. I crash harder each time, and I'm sure this time I would be suicidal, what with all the other factors happening. I'm already feeling such loss and humiliation that I just can't stand it. I really don't want to go there. I want to keep on the meds, but it seems like no insurance company wants me to. $967 for 3 months of meds? Really? I can do it once, but not twice.

So what does a responsible girl do? I don't know. If I'm still unemployed by February I'm going to beg the pharmaceutical companies poor people plans to help me. If they can't do it, I'm going to work with my psychiatrist to try a new cocktail. I don't want to be unstable while trying to interview! Jesus. I need to not worry about this kind of stuff yet.

I just know it - I'll have a job by then.