Drunken phone calls

"Anne, I release you of all the resentment I feel."

Why, oh why, do you always get drunken phone calls from family members late at night the night before you have to work? I was lying there close to sleep when the phone rang. It was Diane. She wanted to ask me to help her with an errand next week, and then talked about her day. It was a perfectly fine conversation, but apparently she had therapy yesterday.

"My counselor is pissed at me! She wonders how I can purport to love you if I'm still drinking and smoking around you. So I want to make you a deal. I'll be a sober place to hang out if you'll just hang out with me. I won't drink or smoke when you're here." This is huge for Diane. She has every addiction I do, and is world-renowned for getting out of trouble with the law. For her to even think about being sober for a family gathering is incredible. "Thanks?" I said. "Good enough." she replied. So there we go.

But then she brought up one of her favorite topics. See, on that side of the family I'm the favorite grandchild of our grandfather, who passed away, oh my. I guess it's been 3 years this year. Wow. I miss him so much. He was my rock. I don't believe there was any magic in being the favorite: I called him on a regular basis just to say hi and I love you, I helped him take care of mom. It's not like I was the golden child. "You are the only child of the star child (my mom, who takes up all the energy in a room)." I don't buy it.

The only time my other two cousins called my grandfather was when they needed money. They called him to pay for this, and that, and Diane's sister notoriously used it all on cocaine. But I suppose you can be jealous of something you didn't have, even if you did nothing to build that relationship.

"Your uncle is the head of the family now, and he's stepping up." Meaning he's giving her and her son money for stuff. I never once asked or accepted money from my grandfather. I think she has the relationship all wrong, there. She thought he paid for college for me, but the other night I burst that bubble. "Dad's still paying off my school on his credit cards." Go dad.

Anyway, she's telling me I can rely on my uncle. I have no reason to get involved in any of this crap. He's perfectly capable of handling my mother himself (he's executor of her trust) and I want nothing to do with it. The more she's "self-sufficient," or not reliant on me, the better. I'm glad he's "stepping up." I don't need him. Sure, I could go ask for money, but for what? I'm fine.

"I release you of all the resentment." Gosh, thanks. I'm so glad my older cousin isn't mad at little old me for being the favorite. I'm so glad I could make you feel better by taking care of the family while you were out partying. I hope you had a good time.