Kvetching time!

I haven't been paid (unemployment) in almost 2 months, I gave myself shin splints in my driving leg, and I think I'm getting fatter despite working out twice a day. No, I'm just turning everything I've got into muscle, but it still makes my shorts tight. Baah.

I've applied to about 1,000 jobs at this point, and I'm still unemployed. My brain hurts just thinking about it. And I don't care about what I'm trained to do, anymore. I'm sick of it. I wish I had a passion for something else, but I don't. I just go with the flow most of the time. Sure, I love a lot of things, but they mostly involve unstructured things or sports.

All in all, my life is pretty good. I still have the money to cover my bills because I was such a penny pincher before. I still have my car and a place to live. I'm getting free exercise classes all summer and time with family members I hadn't been around before. I am grateful for everything, really, I am.

It all comes out in the wash

"Mom, you're drunk! I've known since I was 7 how to tell when you're drunk." -From a 15 year old.

I hope I never have to hear those words from my future kids. My cousin might drink a little much. Her soon to be ex sure does. Tonight, we were at a party and they were both there. Their daughter was visibly uncomfortable to have them in the same room, and wouldn't leave her mom's side. My cousin then made a crack at her ex, and now the 15 year old wants to move out and in with friends. "I don't want to live with either of you!" I kinda don't blame her.

When my parents got divorced, I chose to live with my dad. He's harmless, stable, and a good guy. Not that my cousin isn't a good person, but she's got some rough traits. She's bossy, she picks at the kids sometimes, and she is so angry with her ex that it shows. She should be: he dicked her over and left her for a 26 year old. I'd be pissed, too. But sometimes the way she acts is childish. She needs to pull it together, if only for the kids sake, but for hers, too. She can't live like this. And she's drowning her feelings in booze, which just makes her text her ex and say mean things.

Life is complicated. Kids are complicated. Divorce is messy. There's no way to end an 18 year relationship without complications, but the two of them are making it harder on themselves, and the kids. I don't know what to do. I'm just a fly on the wall right now. I feel it's not my place to butt in, so I only give advice when asked. We'll see how the rest of the summer goes.