Bittersweet goodbyes

Just had a night on the town with all my old buddies. We went to the same bar we've been going to for decades, and sang the same songs, in front of the same crowd. There's something nice about that... But tonight was a goodbye. Last time I moved 3,000 miles away, I knew I'd be back someday. I didn't expect it to be under these circumstances, but such is life. Tonight, I know one thing for sure: you can never go home again.

Adam and I had a moment outside as he left, an I told him it was all about him: my coming home, my quitting smoking, my waiting. But I can't hold out hope anymore. He's not ready for a relationship, and I am. I love him, but it's just time to drop that dream. It's time to let go. Move on. Boy, does it hurt. But not like before. It's more of a dull ache- a longing for things to be different.

I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going back to start fresh. I'm going to just be me, and not wait on anyone.