Showing posts with label regrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label regrets. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Holy moly


Wow, this resentment thing is insane. I've only been working on it for an hour and already I have 6 pages, going back to kindergarten. I don't have as much on my mom as I thought I would, but I'm sure I'll come up with more later.

I do have a lot of resentments against myself. I seem to be able to go on and on on that one. There's just a lot that I've done that I didn't think I regretted - I've always prided myself on living life on life's terms and not regretting things. Apparently I have been deluding myself this whole time. Not that I hate myself, or anything (though hating myself is on the list), but I've done some things I'm not proud of, and that causes bitterness, which is a nicer way of saying resentment.

My best friend from kindergarten came up, too. We were so close, and then one day she was just able to drop me. I haven't heard from her since I was 16. I can't find her anywhere, and I'm afraid to call her mom. I don't know. So, she was in to witchcraft and it scared me. We were 13, and I still told my mom everything then. I told her, she told this girl's mom, and she got in trouble. And she never spoke to me again. Harsh. So there's three resentments there: me for telling, her for ditching me, and mom for breaking my confidence.

It's amazing what you can find out just going through this exercise.