On a foggy night you can see forever.

Last night, in the fog by the beach, my sponsor and I met to go over steps one and two. We read aloud from the twelve and twelve, and discussed some of the phrases we both had underlined.

I asked, "What's the difference between self-care and selfishness?"

"That's kinda tricky," she said. "Self-care is more like when you do things just for yourself. Like your running. That's self-care. Maybe not talking to people who bring you down and don't offer anything good to your life. Being sober, that's definitely self-care. Just loving yourself and giving yourself space to be human. We're all human, you know. This program isn't about perfection. The cool thing is, we get to do something, and then keep trying. We get to listen to God's will, or our higher power, and try to make the best decisions. And we get to do it sober.

Selfishness is something else. It's putting your needs above the needs of other people. Just thinking about yourself and making decisions based only on what you want. If you have to make amends, it's not self-care, it's selfishness."

I love this. Self-care is loving the self, but taking care to take into account other people's feelings and needs. To listen to HP, however you see it, and acting on what you feel is right from listening.

And that's another thing we talked about: action. Turning your will and your life over to God is no excuse for inaction. You still have to make a move. You can't just sit there and say, "Ok, God. Do it already." You have to make the best decisions you can and move forward. If you don't make a move or a decision, you're deciding to do nothing, and that's definitely not His will. My God is a loving God, and he wants us to be happy. Take that happiness and run with it.