The rest of the day

My dad came in at 8 and told me I had to get up. "Why are you still in bed?" Well, "I'm depressed and there's nothing to do." But he made me get up. Tomorrow he's making me go out into the world to see the circus parade into town. I am against circuses for a lot of reasons (scary clowns are the least of their worries) but I suppose I have no choice. He's made it so I have to help my cousin with her 2 little kids. I do not have the energy for little kids. I'll take the newborn.

I have done jack since I got up. Well, that's not true. I booked a flight out to the other coast for a wedding in June, complete with hotel and car rental. When I lived out there I flew back here 8 times in one year for weddings and stuff. Now, I've got 4 trips booked back there. I should just move to the middle and save on airfare. Though I do love to travel. I have a flight booked every month till June. Will be good to get out of the house and do other things.

I don't know if it's just my life is getting to me or the meds aren't working. I don't know if I should call the doc or not. I mean, my life sucks and has no structure, so it's easy to be depressed. I don't have to get out of my pjs if I don't feel like it. And I don't. I hate feeling this way. I need something to do with myself. Like a damn job.