St. Martin, patron saint of drunks

This is fascinating. Today is All Saints day in the Catholic church, recognizing all who are saints in name and those who we don't know about. It's a feast day, and is recognized in Mexico and South America as Dias de los Muertos (hope I got that right), or day(s) of the dead. Tomorrow is All Souls day, the other dias, where we celebrate all who are waiting in purgatory for the day that God comes back to judge us all and we go to heaven or hell. Purgatory deserves it's own post, if you're not Catholic.

There is a patron saint of alcoholism and reformed alcoholics. He's Saint Martin of Tours. His saint day (celebration day) is November 11, which is coming up. I would think all Catholics in AA should know this date, and have a medal of St. Martin.

St. Martin also has a spot on the road to Santiago de Compostela, the most wonderful pilgrimage site from France to Spain. It's a long, but walkable road where pilgrims travel, relying on the kindness of strangers to get them through. My friend Carrie and I wanted to do it a few years ago, but it takes a few weeks to do, and we couldn't get the time off. Now that we're both unemployed, maybe we can make it work. But not in the winter. I would like to go there, though. Especially now that I have another patron saint to visit.

Alcohol is the most dangerous drug

Thanks to Guinevere for this:

According to a new study in England,"Alcohol is the most dangerous drug in the UK by a considerable margin, beating heroin and crack cocaine into second and third place...."

"It examines nine categories of harm that drugs can do to the individual "from death to damage to mental functioning and loss of relationships" and seven types of harm to others."

Alcohol can cause all sorts of problems, as we've seen in other posts and articles, from liver death to dementia, to relationship issues and violence. It really is an amazing "drug." I suppose that doesn't need to be in quotations, but I still don't think of it as a drug. I guess it really is, though.

That's why I think AA is so helpful. You're not only solving the health issues, but just not drinking, but you're helping to solve the other issues that go along with drinking: failed relationships, job issues, financial instability, etc. It's tough just to deal with the drug and not all of the issues it represents.

My sponsor and I were talking about quitting smoking (she tries all the time), and I told her I cut when I quit. She reminded me that we're still crazy, the alcohol is just gone. And that's what the steps are there for: to help you get over the crazy and live a normal life. So stopping drinking isn't the answer, it's just the first step.

Obsessiveness haunts me

Bought the more practical, less expensive shoes. I hate that I just get a compulsion and have to follow it through. You ever get those? Like when your brain says, "Time to do something," and then you can't think of anything else until you get that one thing done. Like sometimes I just start thinking about shoes, and then I think of a pair I want, no, NEED, and then I can't stop thinking about them until I buy them. The obsession will not be lifted!

Luckily, I haven't had that problem with drinking, since I quit drinking. That used to be the way I drank. Have one, and then obsess about the next one until I was done drinking everything I could get my hands on: the bar was closed or so was the liquor store. Since I quit drinking, I haven't had to obsess over a beer or a glass of wine. I mean, once or twice I'll be looking at someone elses glass and think, "I could just take one sip...." But I never do, and I can get it out of my mind. I think it might just be practice.

So maybe that will work with shopping and smoking, too. Just don't take that first step. Don't smoke. Don't go looking for new shoes, and you won't find a pair you like. But for now, I have a really cute pair of boots coming.

Mmmm, pumpkin bread

So instead of buying boots, I went out and bought candy and the mixings for pumpkin bread. It's in the oven right now - three loaves. One for my cousin's downstairs, one for my dad's not-really-girlfriend-but-I-want-her-to-be upstairs, and one for us. I also stuck the candy in a bowl outside just in case the kids come to our floor. Some people in the building give out candy, and we just didn't get on the list in time (cause I found out there was one about an hour ago). It's starting to smell like fall in here, and feel like it outside. Plus, we're watching football. I'm feeling better already.

Now, for a costume....

Boot season

I'm slowly convincing myself I need new boots. No, not just any boot: I have lots of boots. Tall boots, booties, ankle boots, mid-calf boots, brown boots, grey boots, red boots... but I don't have a good pair of tall black boots. I mean, I have two pair, yes, but one is high HIGH heel and really uncomfortable, and one is really comfy but let's water in when it rains. I need something I can wear in the snow on my way to work, but keep on at work because they're cute.

So here's my dilemma: One pair of boots are cute, expensive, and I don't know how the heel is on snow. The other are cheap, still cute, and with rubber soles. But the more expensive ones are, of course, cuter.



See? The others aren't as cute:



What to do, what to do. How about not spend ANY money? It's just not going to happen.

Happy Halloween!

Didn't dress up this year. I did carve that pumpkin (I put on a demonic reindeer and a Santa hat, but it just looks like modern art), and I did say some prayers for the dead. I should go get some stuff and make pumpkin bread or something for tonight.

It sucks not celebrating one of my favorite season openers. I just love the holiday season, and I hope this isn't indicative of how the rest of the season is going to go. I love fall. Come on, fall, love me.

I should quit while I'm ahead

Annnnnd... now I'm eating too much. What's up with my dopamine? I thought my drugs had a big half-life. Or it could be that the last time I ate was at 5 and it's midnight. I could just be hungry. But I'm paranoid and live by the DSM. Sigh.

I wish I could stop spending so much money, eating so much, ignoring my running, smoking cigarettes. I suppose to have things wrong with me these aren't horrible, besides the smoking. Smoking sucks. My dad caught me again. My friends drunk dialed me and passed the phone around, and I went to talk to them on the porch to smoke a cigarette. Apparently while I was outside my dad came home. He just smirked at me when I came back in. Sigh.

And I know the shopping will make me feel better for a minute once I get the package, but it's all the same. Feel better, wear it, feel better, stuff it in closet with the rest of the clothes, shop more. And I'm running out of hangars. Sigh.