Killing me softly

It's always amazing when you go to a meeting and hear someone telling your story. Tonight, I swear the speaker was reading my diary. Her life and drinking were just like mine. Always questioning, "Did I do something stupid last night? Who is this guy? Where's my car?"

She said she listed her "proof" that she was an alcoholic. Her list of stupid things and dangerous things that happened while or because of her drinking. I think that's what my sponsor told me to do when she asked me to describe how my life had become unmanageable. List off the insanity.

Well, here goes.

I blackout a lot and talk to people about God knows what, and probably tell secrets.
I drive drunk a lot, too.
I drunk dial people, mostly my parents, which is insane.
I bring home or go home with people I shouldn't and put myself and others into dangerous positions.
Sometimes I get into fights with people or break things.
I go to work hungover or still drunk.
I ignore my dog's need for a walk because I don't want to take my wine glass with me.
I lie.
I drink on my meds and then blame depression when they don't work.
I tried to kill myself.
I hurt other people.

And that's a life that is unmanageable.