The thirst

Remember that movie the Neverending Story? Where Atrayu is trying to fight "the nothing" and eventually has to face his worst fears to conquer it?

At a meeting the other day, an older man said that each time his life seemed messed up, he would take a deep look and realize it was the "thirst" that was getting him. He would meditate on it, and find that deep in his subconscious the thirst was trying to control him.

That's what I immediately realized when I quit, was I'm THIRSTY for alcohol. I want it. When I start drinking, I immediately want more. I can't stop until I can't possibly drink anymore (and then I pass out). I just want to keep going cause I'm thirsty.

According to others, the thirst subsides, and goes underground. A lot of people lose it completely. I think these are probably the people who are dealing with their issues, and like Atrayu, fighting the demons inside. I want to fight. I want to go through the adventures of the steps and reach my scary wolf cave and fight the nothing that is controlling me.