Oh, sugar, sugar

I guess diet Coke counts as sugar, too, but I've been inhaling mass quantities of chocolate, ice cream, and cookies. Like MASS quantities. Last night for dinner I had a turkey slice, an ice cream sandwich, a chocolate Popsicle, two cookies, and a diet Coke. This morning already I've had a chocolate croissant and a chocolate chip Fiber One bar. Those things are damn good.

Alcohol is sugar, I know this, and your body tries to replace that, but this is just getting ridiculous. Is a bottle of wine really the equivalent of cookies and ice cream in mass quantities? I need a scientist, here. I need to know when my body will stop trying to give me diabetes.