The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone away.

It's all gone. The drugs, the booze. It all left my house in a box last night.

Even while smoking a half pack a day (only since I quit the booze)I'm training for a marathon in November. I know, that's crazy. And I missed the last two weeks of training cause I was too hungover to run on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Luckily those were only 3 mile runs. But then yesterday came the 9 mile run, and I was fresh and ready for it. Also luckily, my respiratory system is in awesome shape, so no wheezing or anything. And so Michael came over and we ran. We ran across the bridge to the ferry, around the bay side and back.

About three miles in I knew it was time. "So, if you haven't guessed, I joined AA." And then an amazing thing happened: he was supportive. I hadn't expected that. See, Michael is my drinking buddy. We usually have 4 bottle Fridays and Saturday cookouts filled with cold, bubbly white wine. We always drink together. And yet, he was supportive of my getting clean. "I never knew you drank so much alone, or blacked out so much."

And then he asked questions. Questions about whether AA blames only character defects or family problems. Whether AA pushed God on you. Whether or not this meant sober for life. And then he did the expected: "Can I have all your booze?" Damn. I knew I needed to get it out of the house, but to someone who will suck down my good wine in 5 minutes and not even taste it? These are $30 and $40 bottles of wine! Damn.

We got back to the house and the clean up began. "What about the drugs?" I'd forgotten about those. I had a serious temptation to just keep those, or take them immediately. They're not MY prescription, but they are prescription meds...

But I didn't. And so out the door went a case of beer, a bottle of vodka, 5 bottles of wine, some Adderall and some Ativan. All gone. My wine rack looks so empty. What in the world will I fill it with? My fridge now is full of diet Coke. And my prescriptions are all ones given to me by my doctor.

So my house is clean, just like me. It's all gone. Now, if I want to relapse, I've gotta go looking for it. And as someone said in a meeting, that gives you a chance to rethink what you're doing and stop. God, please lift this obsession, and quickly.