Women, women, everywhere

There are some truly wonderful women out there, sober and not, but I think I've hit the jackpot.

There are two women's meetings in my town, and both are incredible, and incredibly different. The first, on Mondays, is a big room and always a full house. Jamie walks around and pours coffee in the middle of the meetings. Michelle does her job as secretary reading out the millions of announcements from the central office. Everyone is welcoming and ready to share.

On Wednesdays, the meeting is in a small upstairs room with couches and tea. The lights are low, and the meeting is, as one woman called it, "warm and fuzzy." People are still welcoming and loving, but the mood is more relaxed and the women seem calmer. Maybe it's the tea.

Both of these meetings offer something beautiful. As in every meeting, they all seem to be speaking to what's happening in my life right now. Tonight, many people spoke about how they ask God to come into their lives, and try to live by his will, not their own. This is something I've been struggling with for a week now. "But I WANT it!" I say to God. I know he hears me, he's everywhere, at least to me. But on the other hand, I know that asking things for myself is not the way prayer works. You have to open your heart and soul over to God and trust that his plan is the way things are supposed to go. You may not get it, but what you end up getting is always better in the long run.

As Paulo Coehlo says in By the River Piedra I Sat and Wept, "..When we were quiet with each other, I was able to see how close I felt to him. Neither of us had said anything. Love doesn't need to be discussed; it had its own voice and speaks for itself. That night, by the well, the silence had allowed our hearts to approach each other and get to know each other better. My heart had listened closely to what his had said, and now it was content."

I hope that my heart can be content listening to God and loving that he has a place in my life. I hope I can be open to hear what he says in the silence, and live my life in a way that he would want me to. I need to be quiet in his presence so that I can hear. Be still my spinning mind; listen, just listen.

And that's the third step.