Now we're cooking with gas

I've been reading old posts on Adam and I remembered the crap that went down in January, how I felt so awful (because of depression and because he told me he just wanted to be friends). I think at the time I was in such a bad place that I almost didn't care. I wasn't prepared to be living my life at all, and so wasn't looking for a relationship.

So what's changed? I'm still not looking for a relationship, but I'm open to one. I wasn't before. None of this changes the fact that he still just wants to be friends. Sigh.

In some of the posts I really should have seen where depression was taking me. I was leaving the house sometimes, sure, but I was a real mess. I knew it was bad, but I swear the Abilify is a God send. Without it I just can't seem to function at all. And what's scary is I'm almost out. I went back to the doc and the only free ones he had were 2mg instead of 15mg. I took a bunch of them today to add up to 14mg, but I may just start taking 4mg to spread it out until he gets the BMS rep back in there with more. I don't know what I'm going to do long-term. I'm trying to get on the patient assistance program, but I'm having printer issues. I need to just suck it up and go to the library to print this stuff out. I need to send it in ASAP. I just can't be without the Abilify.