Lucky 13

Adam has been really great since I got home. He took me to two of those meetings and introduced me to some of his friends. He's made sure that I've gotten a foot in the door already, and I'm really thankful for that. He's really an amazing friend.

Then, of course, we talked about our relationship. He's sharing his feelings about not wanting to 13th step me, and how he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I know it must seem like I pressure him sometimes, but I don't mean to, or want to. I admit, I love him. I can't help it. I just do. My cousin asked when we were getting back together (he loves Adam), and I said I can't even date or think about that for a year. He laughed at me and said, "But I think a relationship like yours trumps anything else." But I want Adam to be with me on terms that will create a good restart, not because he feels like he has to, or something else.

I worry sometimes because we talk a lot about how hurt we both were when we broke up. I don't know if he's really forgiven me for breaking up with him. I know we both agree it was a good decision, because we've both grown so much after, and there's always a possibility we wouldn't have grown together.

I don't know. I just want our friendship to thrive. I know it will, because he's one of the most important people in my life. I don't want him to think I've come back to force him into something. We'll see how we both deal with me being so close.