Monday, March 14, 2011

Enter the dating world


Ugh oh. I think I might be dating.

I don't want to be dating. I don't want a relationship. I thought I did, for a while, but I really feel like my life is in too much chaos at this point for anything else. And I don't know about opening myself up to someone again. It takes so much energy. I don't mind it, but I get really intense without meaning to. I suppose relationships make me manic in the beginning, and then I get cranky. I know my pattern, and I need to change it.

The double dose of Celexa has also killed my sex drive, and so has gaining weight. I don't particularly feel like having sex any time soon. Whatever. I'm so blase.

Anyway, so I went to breakfast and a museum with a guy on Saturday, thinking I'm making a new friend. Now, he wants to tell me that he's in the middle of a divorce "before you find out from Facebook." Why would I care unless he thinks we're dating, right? I'll have to set him straight soon. I don't want to date right now, but I am in need of friends. Damn. Why is life so complicated?

And you know what he just told me? His divorce is because of her "descent into alcoholism." I told him I don't drink, but not that I was in AA. I wonder how he'd feel. I wonder if he'd freak that I'm bipolar. Life.

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