Right where I am

"So I said fuck it, I'm done with you people. I've heard all I need to hear: the same old stories, the same old platitudes. I have a ton of literature, I have phone numbers that I use, I have a connection to a higher power, and I journal. What else can you possibly have for me?" And they all laughed. "Damn right!" someone yelled.

"So I took a break. And then this morning my horoscope told me to come back. I didn't want to. Well, that's not true. I needed my 7 month chip. I do love the chips. And so I'm here, and I'm glad. I think that one thing that was missing from my program was this. I need the fellowship. I need to hear your stories, because as similar as they are, they're always different and they always hold some grain of truth I've been looking for. So yeah, I may not want to sometimes, but I'll keep coming back."

George came up to me after the meeting. "You know, you're right where you should be. Everyone feels that way sometimes, especially in their first year. You get this feeling that it's all bullshit, but they tell you to keep coming back, so you do. Just keep coming back through all the crazy."

Rich said, "All you need to do is just not drink and relax. Don't take it all so seriously. You aren't perfect, you just need to make progress, you know?"

"It takes as many months to clean out your brain as it did years to use. So how long did you use?" "Hm," I wondered aloud, "I guess let's just call it 15 years." "And what month are you on?" "7 1/2." "And there you go," George said. "You've got a few more months of complete crazy to get through before it starts to clear up more."

So I'm right where I should be. I'm in the rebellious teenage years of AA membership. Keep coming back, and maybe I'll just start to like it again.