It's the end of the world as we know it

Well, pat me on the back and call me congratulatory. I managed to take my angsty, crying mess of a self out of the house and out with my cousin Diane and her son. We went to a cinema and saw Megamind, which is super cute and adult-funny, but kid-funny, too. The 3 year old had as much fun as we did, eating nachos and candy and annoying the hell out of the woman in front of us.

When I got there, I was a mess. Adam had just called and we'd talked, again, about being friends. Neither of us, apparently, knows how to just be friends. He thinks I'm reading into his body language and doesn't know what to do with my profession of love. Sigh. I called him selfish. Ever since he's taken on self-help as a full time job all he does is talk about how things are fair or unfair to him; how his growing up affects him; etc. Which is great. It's good to dig deep and realize why you do the things you do and change the things that don't work. But oftentimes what comes out of his mouth just sounds self-centered. Which, again, I suppose is just fine. It doesn't affect me, except to make my eyes roll.

I told him I didn't want anything from him. I asked what he wanted from me. "Friendship. I want to give love and receive love." Awesome. Now we know our boundaries. Now we can reinforce them. I told him the physical stuff was too much for me, and he got a little defensive about "arbitrary lines you're drawing." I'm pretty sure there's a standard of appropriate and inappropriate. I'll just tell him to pretend I'm his sister Jane and act accordingly.

So I didn't do it right, and yeah, I ended up a mess after he had to hang up because he had an appointment, and yeah, I tried to cancel my date, but I went anyway and had a good time. And I've had a little time to think. I don't want anything from him. I don't want a relationship with him. I do just want to be friends; the love I have for him can be directed that way. The more I set and stick to boundaries the better off I'll be, and the better able I'll be to just tend the friendship.

I'm sick of talking about this, as I'm sure you're sick of reading about it. So I'll stop. Next post: something fascinating from the world of science!