A little withdrawal

So if you don't really get any withdrawal symptoms when you come off your meds, were they working anyway? I had sleep disturbances, headaches, and moodiness, but none of it was as bad as a lot of people say. It felt like a return to depression, not a withdrawal. There was the weepy, suicidal bit, but that was about 2 days.

So here I am, a week or so off all drugs and at least 2 off the Abilify, and I feel... the same. Lazy, insomniac, eating too much, you know, the same as I always do, drugs or no. My memory is notoriously bad, so I'm having trouble thinking of "real" manic and depressed episodes I've had that didn't have something to do with drugs. Now that I'm off drugs and alcohol, perhaps its time to see what this whole mental illness thing is all about?

That's right, folks, here we go again! The crazy questioning whether or not she actually has a mental illness. But hell, I'm off all meds, I feel down but not suicidal, I'm able to leave the house, I don't know. Maybe it's time to not be on meds for a while? Nothing in my system but caffeine? See if it all balances out?