Today is another day

I made a lot of progress today on my list of things to do. I have a haircut and eyebrow appointment, I paid my bills, I had my interview, signed up for an event next month, and made an appointment with the doc for next week. So that's going to be week 3 of having no meds whatsoever. Good times! Hopefully I can hold it together till then. I'm sure I can.

I was riding the metro this morning and didn't have the urge to jump like I did the other day. The other day I was standing on the platform and just spacing out, listening to music. I wasn't thinking about anything, really. The train started pulling in to the station and as it came up to me I got this incredible urge to jump forward into it's path. Instead, a woman walked in front of me and startled me backwards. It's funny how people are literally put in your path at the right times.

Adam and I went to lunch and he asked how I'm feeling. "Numb," was all I could think. Today I don't feel down, or up, or normal. I don't feel today. He asked me to come stay the night and guess what I did? I said yes. Why? Cause I'm an idiot. And because I just need some comfort. I need to feel human. And less alone.